A Letter to My Friends: I'm Sorry I've Gone Missing

This mail has been sitting in my drafts since July of 2022 and I never published information technology because information technology didn't feel right. I couldn't explain why at the fourth dimension, why I didn't put it out for the globe to see… only looking back now, in 2020, I totally get it. It kind of goes hand in hand with my "God, I'm exhausted and I'g done trying to fix information technology" post.

It wasn't the correct fourth dimension because I wasn't the aforementioned person dorsum then every bit I am at present and it would take been published for the wrong reasons.

It was written with a whole different mindset than I have now and I'm so incredibly thankful to be aware of this.

However, I felt it is advisable to publish now because although information technology has the aforementioned words… it has a new meaning. I'll explicate more below.

And so What Was the Wrong Reason for Writing This Letter of the alphabet in 2017?

I wrote this originally equally an amends to my friends (or who I thought were my friends – but more than to come on that afterwards) in hopes that they'd forgive me for not being the Jessica that they were used to…a redeemed chronic people pleaser here.

I even had an editor look over the weblog postal service back in 2022 to make sure it was written "ok" and that information technology wouldn't hurt anyone'south feelings when I published it.

Now don't get me incorrect… I'm all about doing things for your friends and being there for them and being a kind person… and non being someone to injure others.

But that'due south not what this letter was almost. This post that I wrote was about making sure I nonetheless looked "skillful" to them so they (hopefully) wouldn't talk bad about me behind my back anymore… since I had supposedly "changed".

So with that said, permit's dive in to my 2022 post and and then at the stop, I'll share more well-nigh what I've discovered since and I'd Dear to hear from y'all how you can relate.

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2017 – Postal service/Letter to my Friends

You could put my face on a milk carton.  When it comes to describing my electric current stage of life in regards to my friendships with even my closest of gal pals… you tin say "I've gone missing." I hope information technology's not an human activity of being unkind. It's a season.

This Season of Life is Full

I'm in my thirties, a mom of 2 littles, and my oldest is getting set to start kindergarten.  The closer information technology gets to August. The pit in my stomach gets bigger and bigger, thinking most how our days are express of when we can come and go as nosotros please on any day of the calendar week. I find myself spending countless hours each day, trying to diminish the pit past squeezing in as much play, and laid back activities equally we tin before the next stage of life hits.

For the concluding year or so, my husband and I have been and then incredibly dedicated, focusing on reaching a level of connectedness that some marriages unfortunately never reach.  We nourish matrimony counseling once a week to set aside dedicated fourth dimension to discuss of import topics and to build a state of love and respect for one another that we never realized we could reach.

I'm a working momma, running my ain business at home.  Emails, deadlines, hand-on creative projects for brands, and dreams of my ain that I'grand working towards fulfilling.

I'm a major advocate of spending fourth dimension with friends.  The connections, closeness, and relatability that can come up from girl fourth dimension is so adept for the soul.

But lately, I've been silent with texts and checking in. I've missed birthday parties. I've fallen short on planning that girls dinner that I've been saying I want to take for weeks now. I've slacked on planning the annual girls nighttime party in my dwelling house. (And other ridiculous things we women tell ourselves that defines "being a adept friend." Simply more on that at a subsequently date.)

Owning the Season

And so if I feel so strongly about the importance of girl time, why do my friends probably recollect I've gone missing?

Because I've decided to accept the reigns of my current season of life and control how I fill each and every 24-hour interval:

— I'm existence intentional nearly spending time at dwelling with my "babies" before sending them out the door with a backpack.

— I'thou taking advantage of every moment to nurture my wedlock.

— I'm wrapping my arms around every incredible opportunity coming my way, to grow and improve my business.

Later existence able to put my electric current country of mind in to words, I couldn't aid simply journal my feelings nigh my absence, in a letter to my friends…

A Letter To My Friends:

Dear Friends,

I'm so sorry I've gone missing.  It's not anything you've done.  It'south something I have done.  You lot'd be so proud of me, actually. I've taken the reigns on items in my life that are priceless and that long for my attention.

Unscheduled days of fun with my kids before school starts; Intentional fourth dimension to work on my marriage to reach a deep connection that I never knew could be; and capturing a turning point in my business organisation that could exist something incredible for my family unit.

This doesn't mean that you're not important to me. You lot're so very important to me. I cherish our friendship, deep heartfelt chats, and hilarious stories when we spend fourth dimension together.  And then please don't take my absence every bit a hidden bulletin of some horrible pregnant or modify of middle.  Please sympathise that this is skilful.  When I spend time focusing on the items that can do good from my dedicated attention, you lot'll see the love overflow in to the other areas of my life and flourish across measure. Know that I adore pollinating our friendship when I'm fueled on this cease.

It's a flavor, and I can't wait to be in that location for you when you lot go through a season.

Signed,

Your friend that's nevertheless hither…"

Who's There on the Flipside

So although my friends are incredibly of import to me, information technology's a flavour. It's a season in life that I've chosen to be intentional about and focus on the items that are super important to me. This doesn't hateful that my friends aren't important. This doesn't mean that "I'm putting my friends on the back burner."  But it does mean that it's a time in my life that I'thou going to be intentional about, that may exit my friends saying,

What in the earth is going on with her?

During times like this, information technology'due south so incredible to encounter who's at that place afterwards a season we have in life. Who's there to say "Hey I've missed you. Tell me all about it." And most importantly "I understand, and don't judge you i chip." Those are the little aureate nuggets in life that can make a friendship something to cherish.

End of Letter of the alphabet – Now Nowadays Mean solar day 2020

The words in the letter that I wrote are nonetheless truthful. I still believe them and feel like they accept merit.

Simply you encounter, when I wrote that letter, those words were meant to be "excuses" in hopes that my friends would nonetheless like me, even though I chose my family over them in that moment. I'd fifty-fifty become and so far to say that I felt "bad" that I was choosing my family unit over them. It'southward similar you could most feel me saying,

"Please don't forget about me and forgive me. Please still be my friend when I'thousand done putting my family first."

Today, I'm aback I felt that mode.

After going through such a difficult time these final three years (more to come on that later, equally soon as I tin can figure out how to tell the long story) I've realized what'south important:

God, my married man, my kids, and my family unit.

Don't hear what I'1000 not saying (my favorite quote by my favorite pastor, Bryan Mills) friends are important. In fact,

"God has created usa to demand people."

Erwin Mcmanus

Simply existent, true, genuine friends are important.

I encourage you today to really look at those y'all're investing your time with… and what priorities you lot take set for yourself.

I know it sounds crazy, merely I shared a costless printable worksheet a while back on how to find your tribe of gal pals, and information technology has helped others realized the not-negotiables and how to stick your neck out to hopefully find your tribe.

Now, today, I could write the same letter and send it out to my friends… but it would exist to the friends that would read information technology and think:

"We get information technology. You lot're going through a flavor and doing what's of import right now. We'll be hither on the flipside and during it if y'all need me."

And you know what? I take those friends at present. I'm then thankful for those friends and will NEVER always let that go unappreciated.

It is my mission to also exist that friend for them and to be understanding even when information technology doesn't brand sense.

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Source: https://fantabulosity.com/a-letter-to-my-friends-im-sorry-ive-went-missing/

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