Mark Manson the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck

The Book in Iii Sentences

Finding something important and meaningful in your life is the most productive apply of your time and energy. This is true because every life has problems associated with it and finding significant in your life will help you lot sustain the effort needed to overcome the particular problems you lot confront. Thus, we can say that the key to living a adept life is not giving a fuck about more things, but rather, giving a fuck but well-nigh the things that align with your personal values.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck summary

This is my book summary of The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. My notes are informal and ofttimes contain quotes from the book every bit well as my ain thoughts. This summary also includes key lessons and important passages from the book.

• Conventional cocky-help communication which tells you to visualize success and think about the type of person yous want to be only reinforces the idea that you are not that affair.
• Everyone wants you to believe that the surreptitious to a proficient life is to have a nicer job or a better auto or a prettier girlfriend.
• The key to a good life is not giving a fuck nearly more; it'due south giving a fuck well-nigh less, giving a fuck about merely what is true and immediate and of import.
• We are no longer facing a material crunch. Nosotros accept enough of resources: TVs and apparel and goods that we don't demand. The problem we face is existential and spiritual. We accept so much stuff and then many opportunities that we don't know what to requite a fuck about anymore.
• Considering in that location's an infinite amount of things we can now see or know, there are also an infinite number of means we tin detect that we don't measure upwards, that we're non good enough, that things aren't as great as they could be.
• The want for a more positive experience is itself a negative feel. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one'due south negative experience is itself a positive experience.
• Pursuing something simply reinforces that you lack it in the get-go place.
• Accepting your experience of life as being nifty and wonderful is the single greatest thing you tin do for your happiness.
• "You will never exist happy if y'all continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never alive if yous are looking for the meaning of life." -Albert Camus
• Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative feel.
• If you lot are able to not give a fuck virtually the hurting your goals require, so yous become unstoppable.
• The moments when we don't give a fuck and accept activity are oft the moments that almost define the form of our lives.
• Y'all are going to die someday. Everyone y'all know is going to die soon. And in your brusk life yous only accept a certain amount of fucks to give.
• Learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts finer based on finely honed personal values is perhaps the greatest and most of import struggle in life.
• Subtlety #one: Not giving a fuck is not about beingness indifferent. It only means you lot're comfortable with being unlike. Don't say fuck information technology to everything in life, just to the unimportant things.
• Subtlety #ii: To not requite a fuck about adversity, you must showtime care about something more important than adversity.
• Subtlety #3: Whether you lot realize it or not, you lot are always choosing what to give a fuck about. The key is to gradually clip the things you intendance about, and so that you only requite a fuck on the about important of occasions.
• When a person has no problems, the mind automatically finds a fashion to invent some.
• I think what nigh people — especially educated, pampered middle-form white people — consider "life bug" are really simply side furnishings of non having anything more than of import to worry most.
• Finding something important and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive apply of your time and free energy.
• It's okay for things to suck some of the time.
• Practical enlightenment is the act of condign comfortable with the idea that some suffering is always inevitable.
• There is no value in suffering when it is washed without purpose.
• Don't promise for a life without issues. Hope for a life with good problems.
• Problems never stop. They just get exchanged or upgraded.
• Happiness is found in solving bug, not avoiding them.
• True happiness occurs only when you discover the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving. Happiness is wanting the issues you lot have and wanting to solve them.
• Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge y'all in the direction of beneficial modify.
• Negative emotions are a sign that something is going unaddressed. They are a call to activity. Positive emotions are the reward for taking the correct action.
• We should question our emotions because they are not e'er right.
• Don't ask yourself what you want out of life. It's easy to want success and fame and happiness and great sex. Everybody wants those things. A much more than interesting question to enquire yourself is, "What kind of pain practice I want?" What you are willing to struggle for is a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.
• Yous can't but be in love with the result. Everybody loves the issue. Y'all take to love the process.
• The climb to the top is a never-ending upward spiral with new problems always surfacing and new processes that you must autumn in love with. You are never immune to cease climbing considering the entire point is to honey the climb. If you ever stop loving the climb, the results will never come.
• Self-esteem, past itself, is overrated. It doesn't help to feel expert most yourself unless you lot have a proficient reason for feeling that way. The struggle makes self-esteem useful, not the participation trophy.
• Your problems are not privileged in their severity or hurting. You are not unique in your suffering.
• The more exposed we are to opposing viewpoints, the more we seem to get upset that those other viewpoints exist. This seems like a logical trend to me because before the internet and our hyper-connected modern world, people didn't take as much likelihood of running into ideas that disagreed with their own. Today, alternate ideas are far more likely to cantankerous your radar screen.
• Most of united states are pretty average at most things we do. Even if yous're exceptional at ane thing, chances are you're average or below boilerplate at nigh other things.
• Our lives today are filled with data from the extremes of the bong curve of man feel. The best of the best, worst of the worst, and about upsetting of the upsetting. Nosotros merely see the most infrequent news stories because that's what drives acquirement. This is a existent problem when information technology comes to comparison because you can merely be exceptional in ane matter matter and yous're going to be below average in virtually everything else. That makes comparison a very dangerous game to play.
• The problem is that the pervasiveness of technology and mass marketing is screwing up a lot of people'due south expectations for themselves.
• Ane of the nigh pervasive narratives about masculinity in our culture is that the almost valuable affair a human being can accomplish is sex and it'due south worth sacrificing almost anything to become it. (Interestingly, this corresponds to one of the ascendant female narratives, which is that the greatest thing a woman tin can be is beautiful.)
• People who are exceptional become that way by thinking they are average and focusing on improvement. Y'all don't become exceptional by believing yous are infrequent.
• The more uncomfortable the respond, the more likely it is to exist true.
• Problems are inevitable, merely what they hateful is flexible. We become to control what our issues mean to us based on how we choose to remember about them and how we choose to measure them. The way nosotros measure success influences how we view the problems nosotros face up.
• "Pleasure is a false god. Inquiry shows that people who focus their energy on superficial pleasures terminate upwards more anxious, more emotionally unstable, and more depressed. Pleasure is the near superficial class of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose."
• People who base their cocky-worth on beingness correct about everything foreclose themselves from learning from their mistakes.
• "One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you equally the most beautiful." -Sigmund Freud
• People who are terrified of what others think about them are actually terrified of all the negative things they think about themselves being reflected back at them.
• When we feel that we're choosing our bug, we experience empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon the states against our will, we feel victimized and miserable.
• We don't always control what happens to us. Simply we always control how nosotros interpret what happens to us, every bit well as how nosotros respond.
• Accepting responsibleness for our problems is the commencement pace to solving them.
• A lot of people hesitate to take responsibility for their problems because they believe that to be responsible for your problems is also to be at error for your problems. This is not true. We are responsible for experiences that aren't our mistake all the time. This is part of life.
• People will often fight over who gets to exist responsible for successful and happiness. But taking responsibility for our issues is far more of import because that's where real learning comes from.
• Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don't go from "wrong" to "right." Rather, nosotros go from incorrect to slightly less wrong. Nosotros shouldn't seek to find the ultimate "right" answer for ourselves, just rather, we should seek to chip abroad at the means that we're incorrect today and so that we tin can exist a little less wrong tomorrow.
• Certainty is the enemy of growth.
• All beliefs are wrong—some are simply less wrong than others.
• Counterintuitive insight by Baumeister regarding evil: some of the worst criminals frequently felt practiced well-nigh themselves. Depression self-esteem was not always associated with evil acts.
• The more than you attempt to become certain about a item result, the more uncertain and insecure you volition feel.
• The more you embrace being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfortable you volition experience in knowing what you don't know.
• The man who believes he knows everything learns nothing.
• Manson'south Police force of Avoidance: The more something threatens your identity, the more yous volition avert information technology. The more something threatens how you view yourself, the more you will avoid getting around to doing it.
• If I believe I'm a overnice guy, I'll avert situations that could potentially contradict that conventionalities. If I believe I'yard an awesome melt, I'll seek out opportunities to testify that to myself over and over once more. The belief ever takes precedence.
• Manson's idea of "kill yourself" is similar to Paul Graham's idea of "keep your identity minor." The central signal is that if you don't take an identity to protect, then modify becomes much easier.
• For whatsoever modify to happen in your life, y'all must accept that yous were wrong most something you were doing before.
• "It is the marker of an educated mind to be able to entertain a idea without accepting it." -Aristotle
• If it feels like it's yous versus the world, chances are it's really just you versus yourself.
• The magnitude of your success is tied to how many times you've failed at that thing.
• Goals are limited in the amount of happiness they tin provide in our lives because they are finite. In one case you achieve the goal, it can no longer provide happiness because the finish line has been crossed. Paradoxically, then, by choosing processes as your focus, you can increase your overall, lifelong happiness by focusing on the process and not the goal. Processes never cease, which means happiness can go on indefinitely.
• Action isn't just the effect of motivation; information technology'due south also the cause of information technology. Do something and inspiration will follow.
• How do you write a tons of books? Write "200 crappy words per twenty-four hour period" and you'll find motivation often flows out of you.
• Manson'southward "exercise something" principle sounds a lot like the philosophy behind the two-infinitesimal rule. Do something now, fifty-fifty if it's really small, and let good deportment cascade as a result.
• To truly capeesh something, you must confine yourself to it. There's a certain level of joy and pregnant that y'all reach in life only when yous've spent decades investing in a unmarried relationship, a single arts and crafts, a single career. And you cannot achieve those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives.
• The marker of an unhealthy relationship is when 2 people endeavour to solve each other'south issues in order to feel adept about themselves.
• Trust is the almost of import ingredient in whatsoever human relationship for the simple reason that without trust the relationship doesn't actually mean anything.
• Investing deeply in one person, one identify, one job, one activity might deny us the breadth of feel we'd like, but pursuing a latitude of experience denies us the opportunity to enjoy the rewards of depth of experience.
• Commitment, in its own way, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences that would never otherwise exist available to yous, no matter how many surface level experiences yous pursued.
• Rejection of alternatives liberates us. In a strange way, commitment to one thing offers more freedom than anything else considering it relieves you lot of all the 2d guessing about what else is out there.
• If there is no reason to do anything, if life is pointless, then in that location is besides no reason to non do anything. What do you accept to lose? You're going to die anyhow, and so your fears and embarrassments and failures don't mean anything. You might as well attempt.
• All of the significant in our life is shaped by our innate want to never truly die. Our physical bodies will die, but we cling to the idea that nosotros can live on through religion, politics, sports, art, and technological innovation.
• The but style to be comfy with death is to understand and come across yourself every bit something bigger than yourself, to contribute to some much larger entity.
• It is the act of choosing your values and living by them that makes you slap-up, not any upshot or accomplishment.
• "We're all going to die, all of us. What a circus! That alone should make u.s. dearest each other, but it doesn't." -Charles Bukowski

Reading Suggestions

This is a list of authors, books, and concepts mentioned in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, which might exist useful for future reading.

• The Denial of Death past Ernest Becker

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Marking Manson

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Source: https://jamesclear.com/book-summaries/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck

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